Random thought:
Anyone else ever notice when someone picks the nicknames angel or princess online for themselves they usually don't ever look like either?
-
I swear I'm not intentionally trying to do these dual continuous entries that never seem to end about one subject and they're merely coincidental but, I should be one. Half because I'm mindlessly watching Kathy Griffin's: My life on the D-list right nowwondering when the hell my once razor sharp wit deteriorated that I now consider this a viable source of entertainment. I have to admit though she isn't as annoying as she is on this show as she is when she makes appearances on talk shows (Larry King, gah) or when she attempts stand up comedy. (Yes! I watch Larry King sometimes. And yes! I've watched Kathy Griffin on Larry King.) It's really.. real humor, a lot of raw emotions are thrown about. You don't see a lot of that in Hollywood anymore. Everyone there is obsessed about public perception and are constantly told how to breathe and look and what to say by their PR agents. I should be a zombie in that other half not in that stupid zombie kid way because Halloween is approaching though I'll still dress up as as a zombie this year but, literally! It just occurred to me I've almost died a few times this year.
It's kinda scary when I randomly think about it. It made me wonder just how many other times people almost die each year/day/week/whatever but just sort of brush it off as a minor everyday experience that wasn't as serious as you think at the time? You know, kind of when you're about to cross at a crosswalk a little too early and a turning car stops in front of you, but they were only going perhaps ~10 mphs to begin with so it wasn't serious at all? The only other time I can remember my life being in any kind of danger when I was younger is when I was maybe like, seven years old. We were out at this old baseball diamond playing baseball (with a tennis ball) and I cleared the tennis ball right over the fence onto a nearby road. I said "whatever" when no one else wanted to hop the fence to get it, jumped over and ran out in the middle of an intersection and picked up the ball, having a car come to a screeching halt maybe a few inches in front of me.
It wasstupid a pretty close call.
Other than nothing has ever really happened where I've felt my life has been or was in any kind of jeopardy. I think I deserve a brownie or something for using that word in an actual context where it doesn't refer to the game show. Anyway. I have my MSN name today set to "I will be a Darwin award someday" and it's true looking back on this last year! I bought a chapstick on my way home a couple days ago and the plastic surrounding the cap was like, bonded on there with at least seven different layers of crazy glue. I used my teeth to rip the plastic off and the stupid little cap on the chapstick popped off back into my throat and I choked for probably a little longer than you averagely choke on something .. and in the meantime was inspired to come up with the priorly mentioned MSN name about how one day being a Darwin award is imminent.
- I use chapstick. I know some people are still taking those feminine mental notes.
A few times after coming back from the gym/hockey/whatnot I've taken long baths to relax sore muscles. I'm usually pretty tired when I've exercised most of the day so while in the bath I've actually fallen asleep a couple times. Smart also, I know. This wasn't really serious either, I just abruptly wake up and start choking yet AGAIN. On that note of Darwin awards and almost drowning/choking I'll probably die like them someday. And I sure hope I don't end up developing some of those weird asphyxiation fetishes down the road from all these choking experiences. I don't think I'd be too good at that..
- I take baths sometimes.
- I use chapstick sometimes.
- I watch Kathy Griffin.
- I possibly find asphyxiation sexy.
One of the other "near death experiences" I actually mentioned here around when I first started writing on and off, in one of my better beginning entries about the probably-now-but-wasn't-when I wrote it extinct Kakapo. As it says there..
(...) but right now as far as I understand it, it's just a case of really, really bad luck. I always thought I held the crown, scepter and throne for absolute worst luck in the world. I mean, even a few days ago I sold a few items on eBay. The people who had purchased them from me had paid me through PayPal overnight while I was asleep (Wednesday) so I shipped them on Thursday morning. I decided to walk to the post office instead of drive since it was pretty nice out that day.
So, I grabbed my .mp3 player and left the house.
Walking there, I walked by these two construction workers. I looked around and I wasn't in any kind of construction zone. There were no heavy machines, no obvious tools like jackhammers laying about, no road signs or anything. I glanced back at both and both were just loitering around so I continued on walking. Guns N' Roses was on - "14 years" which I encourage everyone to download as fast as they can after reading this. As I passed them at almost face to face distance, he sort of waved at me. I didn't respond, he waved some more and I still didn't respond and then he lunged forward and pushed me.
I took off my headphones and quickly asked ".. what's your problem?" He told me he was trying to flag me down I had just stepped over two steel plates that they hadn't secured into the ground yet, which were covering a 20 foot hole they had just dug that morning to prepare in the next few days to replace and fix some pipes underneath the roads and ground there. I was like... wow. God must have died this morning since he just missed one hell of a chance to take me. Case in point: I am unlucky.
(.. unless I'm walking over twenty foot holes, apparently).
So, so far to recap again..
- I take baths sometimes.
- I use chapstick sometimes.
- I watch Kathy Griffin.
- Asphyxiation.
- There was two anomalies that happened here. God/Jesus/Angels were on MY side for once, and b) I wasn't actually doing anything secretly feminine at the time, this time. Thank God for Guns n' Roses. Ohh yeah. Suck it bastards.
Of course what happened a couple weeks ago that wasn't serious about the gas pipes.
And then lastly was a few weeks ago when I was off to play basketball with one of my friends. I cut through this alley near here and again wasn't really paying attention as I was walking listening to music, the courts only a couple blocks away from where I live / we usually play. A long piece of wire flew maybe a half an inch right beside my cheek and I was like "what the..?" since I was literally almost in the middle off the road and that shouldn't have been physically possible. I looked up and saw though ...
It's kinda hard to see a wire so thin from the two pictures above so I recorded a video there also, but part of the power line (?) was hanging down from above.
I'm not exactly sure if it was live.. but considering it swung about one eighth of an inch from my cheek I wasn't exactly prepared to find out whether or not it could've killed me. Still! My guardian angels must be working overtime up in Heaven. Or. Satan has infiltrated Heaven and is holding them hostage at gun point. Something like that. I suddenly feel a whole lot more... mortal. Damn you chapstick caps. *shakes fist*
DAMNNNNN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
Anyone else ever notice when someone picks the nicknames angel or princess online for themselves they usually don't ever look like either?
-
I swear I'm not intentionally trying to do these dual continuous entries that never seem to end about one subject and they're merely coincidental but, I should be one. Half because I'm mindlessly watching Kathy Griffin's: My life on the D-list right now
It's kinda scary when I randomly think about it. It made me wonder just how many other times people almost die each year/day/week/whatever but just sort of brush it off as a minor everyday experience that wasn't as serious as you think at the time? You know, kind of when you're about to cross at a crosswalk a little too early and a turning car stops in front of you, but they were only going perhaps ~10 mphs to begin with so it wasn't serious at all? The only other time I can remember my life being in any kind of danger when I was younger is when I was maybe like, seven years old. We were out at this old baseball diamond playing baseball (with a tennis ball) and I cleared the tennis ball right over the fence onto a nearby road. I said "whatever" when no one else wanted to hop the fence to get it, jumped over and ran out in the middle of an intersection and picked up the ball, having a car come to a screeching halt maybe a few inches in front of me.
It was
Other than nothing has ever really happened where I've felt my life has been or was in any kind of jeopardy. I think I deserve a brownie or something for using that word in an actual context where it doesn't refer to the game show. Anyway. I have my MSN name today set to "I will be a Darwin award someday" and it's true looking back on this last year! I bought a chapstick on my way home a couple days ago and the plastic surrounding the cap was like, bonded on there with at least seven different layers of crazy glue. I used my teeth to rip the plastic off and the stupid little cap on the chapstick popped off back into my throat and I choked for probably a little longer than you averagely choke on something .. and in the meantime was inspired to come up with the priorly mentioned MSN name about how one day being a Darwin award is imminent.
- I use chapstick. I know some people are still taking those feminine mental notes.
A few times after coming back from the gym/hockey/whatnot I've taken long baths to relax sore muscles. I'm usually pretty tired when I've exercised most of the day so while in the bath I've actually fallen asleep a couple times. Smart also, I know. This wasn't really serious either, I just abruptly wake up and start choking yet AGAIN. On that note of Darwin awards and almost drowning/choking I'll probably die like them someday. And I sure hope I don't end up developing some of those weird asphyxiation fetishes down the road from all these choking experiences. I don't think I'd be too good at that..
- I take baths sometimes.
- I use chapstick sometimes.
- I watch Kathy Griffin.
- I possibly find asphyxiation sexy.
One of the other "near death experiences" I actually mentioned here around when I first started writing on and off, in one of my better beginning entries about the probably-now-but-wasn't-when I wrote it extinct Kakapo. As it says there..
(...) but right now as far as I understand it, it's just a case of really, really bad luck. I always thought I held the crown, scepter and throne for absolute worst luck in the world. I mean, even a few days ago I sold a few items on eBay. The people who had purchased them from me had paid me through PayPal overnight while I was asleep (Wednesday) so I shipped them on Thursday morning. I decided to walk to the post office instead of drive since it was pretty nice out that day.
So, I grabbed my .mp3 player and left the house.
Walking there, I walked by these two construction workers. I looked around and I wasn't in any kind of construction zone. There were no heavy machines, no obvious tools like jackhammers laying about, no road signs or anything. I glanced back at both and both were just loitering around so I continued on walking. Guns N' Roses was on - "14 years" which I encourage everyone to download as fast as they can after reading this. As I passed them at almost face to face distance, he sort of waved at me. I didn't respond, he waved some more and I still didn't respond and then he lunged forward and pushed me.
I took off my headphones and quickly asked ".. what's your problem?" He told me he was trying to flag me down I had just stepped over two steel plates that they hadn't secured into the ground yet, which were covering a 20 foot hole they had just dug that morning to prepare in the next few days to replace and fix some pipes underneath the roads and ground there. I was like... wow. God must have died this morning since he just missed one hell of a chance to take me. Case in point: I am unlucky.
(.. unless I'm walking over twenty foot holes, apparently).
So, so far to recap again..
- I take baths sometimes.
- I use chapstick sometimes.
- I watch Kathy Griffin.
- Asphyxiation.
- There was two anomalies that happened here. God/Jesus/Angels were on MY side for once, and b) I wasn't actually doing anything secretly feminine at the time, this time. Thank God for Guns n' Roses. Ohh yeah. Suck it bastards.
Of course what happened a couple weeks ago that wasn't serious about the gas pipes.
And then lastly was a few weeks ago when I was off to play basketball with one of my friends. I cut through this alley near here and again wasn't really paying attention as I was walking listening to music, the courts only a couple blocks away from where I live / we usually play. A long piece of wire flew maybe a half an inch right beside my cheek and I was like "what the..?" since I was literally almost in the middle off the road and that shouldn't have been physically possible. I looked up and saw though ...
It's kinda hard to see a wire so thin from the two pictures above so I recorded a video there also, but part of the power line (?) was hanging down from above.
I'm not exactly sure if it was live.. but considering it swung about one eighth of an inch from my cheek I wasn't exactly prepared to find out whether or not it could've killed me. Still! My guardian angels must be working overtime up in Heaven. Or. Satan has infiltrated Heaven and is holding them hostage at gun point. Something like that. I suddenly feel a whole lot more... mortal. Damn you chapstick caps. *shakes fist*
DAMNNNNN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
Comments