Random thought:
MY BROTHER IS STILL DISGUSTING.
-
So, I went to eat with some friends this afternoon for lunch and I ended up finding a book placed on one of the tables. "It seemed like a good idea at the time" by Marty Godfrey. I'm a little too tired after tonight to write a full blown synopsis of the book in question so here's the first and last paragraph so you can get a gist of what it's about.
"After twelve years of being a boy, I never thought that I could be turned into a girl so easily.
I should have known something weird was going to happen the first time I saw Donnie and Chris. Their appearance alone was worth a second glance. Donnie was short and wiry and had a smile that covered his face. Chris was huge, almost as tall as my father, with wide eyes and hair chopped sort of like you see in old movies.
They were sitting on the curb on the other side of the road watching the movers unload our furniture. They didn't make any attempt to come over. They merely stared, Chris chewing furiously and Donnie smiling and nodding his head like one of those souvenir football figures you get from your aunt on your birthday."
Who the hell gives their kids bobble heads for birthday gifts? I'll tell you who, parents who didn't actually want kids. Anyway, I guess the basic premise you need to be aware of is the first opening line. I don't know how, or why, but apparently the once masculine (or not) Micheal is turned into a girl. Or he wants to be a girl, dresses like a girl, smells like a girl. Something along those lines. Here's the last paragraph of the book:
"I feel stupid," I groaned.
"You are," she said with a wide smile on her face.
"How is your aunt?"
"Great," she said. "Well, not great yet, but the doctors say in a couple of months she'll be just fine."
"That's good," I said.
"Thanks for asking," she mentioned. The breeze blew her hair across her face and she tossed her head to move it back.
"Judy," I began. "Judy, I...," hesitated.
Donnie and Chris were poorly hidden behind a lilac tree on somebody's front lawn across the street. They gave me a less-than-secret wave that Judy pretended not to notice.
As we walked by, she slipped her hand into mine. "Now you tell me, Micheal Hughes, why in heaven's name did you agree to become a girl in the first place?"
"Well," I drawled. "It seemed like a good idea at the time..."
So, admittedly I didn't actually read the entire 107 pages of this child's book. And if you want honesty -- I think it's a very cool idea that someone (possibly a pedophile) is randomly running around our city leaving books in public places to encourage kids to read them. I wish they did this sort of stuff back when I was a kid, even though I wasn't too big on reading I would have been pretty stoked to find a mysterious book. It's just like finding a hidden treasure, just, less cool. Especially if it was stuff like R.L. Stine, oh man. I remember our old grade three library banning some of the "Goosebumps" books because they were just too darned scary for children. I'd pay hundreds of dollars to read through one of them now just to see how emotionally traumatizing it really was.
Another difference between me finding it then and now is I probably would have happily read it and hidden it somewhere else afterwards for someone else to find and enjoy. Like finding a hidden treasure! just.. less cool, uhh, again. I think I'll ditch this book in the cemetery tomorrow on the top of the hill, in one of those containers where they store recently cremated ashes or unclaimed valuables or whatnot. At least the book is appropriately named when they open up their relative and wonder what the hell, right?
Alright, well probably not. I have enough of a heart not to throw it down a sewer or leave it in a strip club, or a cemetery or somewhere weird. I'll most likely just dump it at Southgate sometime tomorrow morning but not without writing a review about the book first. You see, inside the book is a code if you find it, asking everyone who read it to drop a line about what they think and the experience they had reading the book:
I'm guessing it's almost imminent someone once they notice it will erase my review from the main site hosting them; especially after noticing that they're getting referrals from a site named SLANDER FREE FOR 0 DAYS but, ah, here's to hoping anyway the next person who finds it is a 9 year old boy, itching to write a review after enjoying what is probably a classic in children's literature only to read mine and from there engages his parents in a very awkward conversation about the transsexuals of Edmonton.
Hey! Marty Godfrey!
If you track back here, this really is a cool idea.
And I'm really not a transsexual. I was just kidding.
.. hmm, but that's the cool part about the two statements above. Only one is true. ;D!
On a slightly related note:
I wonder if there's any chance left that I can still get into heaven?
MY BROTHER IS STILL DISGUSTING.
-
So, I went to eat with some friends this afternoon for lunch and I ended up finding a book placed on one of the tables. "It seemed like a good idea at the time" by Marty Godfrey. I'm a little too tired after tonight to write a full blown synopsis of the book in question so here's the first and last paragraph so you can get a gist of what it's about.
"After twelve years of being a boy, I never thought that I could be turned into a girl so easily.
I should have known something weird was going to happen the first time I saw Donnie and Chris. Their appearance alone was worth a second glance. Donnie was short and wiry and had a smile that covered his face. Chris was huge, almost as tall as my father, with wide eyes and hair chopped sort of like you see in old movies.
They were sitting on the curb on the other side of the road watching the movers unload our furniture. They didn't make any attempt to come over. They merely stared, Chris chewing furiously and Donnie smiling and nodding his head like one of those souvenir football figures you get from your aunt on your birthday."
Who the hell gives their kids bobble heads for birthday gifts? I'll tell you who, parents who didn't actually want kids. Anyway, I guess the basic premise you need to be aware of is the first opening line. I don't know how, or why, but apparently the once masculine (or not) Micheal is turned into a girl. Or he wants to be a girl, dresses like a girl, smells like a girl. Something along those lines. Here's the last paragraph of the book:
"I feel stupid," I groaned.
"You are," she said with a wide smile on her face.
"How is your aunt?"
"Great," she said. "Well, not great yet, but the doctors say in a couple of months she'll be just fine."
"That's good," I said.
"Thanks for asking," she mentioned. The breeze blew her hair across her face and she tossed her head to move it back.
"Judy," I began. "Judy, I...," hesitated.
Donnie and Chris were poorly hidden behind a lilac tree on somebody's front lawn across the street. They gave me a less-than-secret wave that Judy pretended not to notice.
As we walked by, she slipped her hand into mine. "Now you tell me, Micheal Hughes, why in heaven's name did you agree to become a girl in the first place?"
"Well," I drawled. "It seemed like a good idea at the time..."
So, admittedly I didn't actually read the entire 107 pages of this child's book. And if you want honesty -- I think it's a very cool idea that someone (possibly a pedophile) is randomly running around our city leaving books in public places to encourage kids to read them. I wish they did this sort of stuff back when I was a kid, even though I wasn't too big on reading I would have been pretty stoked to find a mysterious book. It's just like finding a hidden treasure, just, less cool. Especially if it was stuff like R.L. Stine, oh man. I remember our old grade three library banning some of the "Goosebumps" books because they were just too darned scary for children. I'd pay hundreds of dollars to read through one of them now just to see how emotionally traumatizing it really was.
Another difference between me finding it then and now is I probably would have happily read it and hidden it somewhere else afterwards for someone else to find and enjoy. Like finding a hidden treasure! just.. less cool, uhh, again. I think I'll ditch this book in the cemetery tomorrow on the top of the hill, in one of those containers where they store recently cremated ashes or unclaimed valuables or whatnot. At least the book is appropriately named when they open up their relative and wonder what the hell, right?
Alright, well probably not. I have enough of a heart not to throw it down a sewer or leave it in a strip club, or a cemetery or somewhere weird. I'll most likely just dump it at Southgate sometime tomorrow morning but not without writing a review about the book first. You see, inside the book is a code if you find it, asking everyone who read it to drop a line about what they think and the experience they had reading the book:
I'm guessing it's almost imminent someone once they notice it will erase my review from the main site hosting them; especially after noticing that they're getting referrals from a site named SLANDER FREE FOR 0 DAYS but, ah, here's to hoping anyway the next person who finds it is a 9 year old boy, itching to write a review after enjoying what is probably a classic in children's literature only to read mine and from there engages his parents in a very awkward conversation about the transsexuals of Edmonton.
Hey! Marty Godfrey!
If you track back here, this really is a cool idea.
And I'm really not a transsexual. I was just kidding.
.. hmm, but that's the cool part about the two statements above. Only one is true. ;D!
On a slightly related note:
I wonder if there's any chance left that I can still get into heaven?
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