#8 [random] Dentists do probably commit suicide earlier than everyone else.

Random thought:

I need small change in my wallet.

Right now I have 2 $100 bills, 2 $50s, 6 $20s, and one $5.

Know what's even worse? My wallet is worth more than the money in it.

You can scream "supppppppperficialllll bastard!!!!!!" already. I know you want to.

-

So at the dentist's office today they gave me this new patient form to fill out. They had gone out on a limb and assumed after my check-up I was indeed happy with their service, and wanted to stay there for the remainder of my life. I had gone to the dentists at Londerry (my Mom's dentist) as she had recommended a Dr. Hiashi to me after I decided during hockey to start using my face to block shots. Because my other dentist is a little less than sane, they asked if I wanted to do all my regular cleaning and check-ups Hiashi so I said, yes, actually, despite him living literally about 94 minutes away. I was indeed happy with their service and wanted to stay their for the remainder of my life. I really liked how professional yet still very laid back everyone was.

This new patient form was pretty much equivalent to writing out an essay on your personal hygiene for the last two decades. It asked me every possible health related question from whether or not I have allergies to various medications, right down to seizures, HIV (WHY ON EARTH WOULD DENTISTS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT?!) -- if any of my family members have had diabetes, if I bleed excessively from lacerations - everything imaginable. I read over most of it before filling it out to see exactly what it was and 99.9% of the answers required a no (that 99% of no responses also includes the one to HIV, you social engineering pundits). I just started writing no in all the blank spaces and when I gave it back the receptionist glared at me.

If you're curious the one "yes" I marked was I had bronchitis within the last year.

Funny thing about allergies is that I have absolutely none at all. My mom is allergic to paint, (mildly) to oranges - cat and some dog fur, pollen. My dad is allergic also to paint, dog and cat fur, pollen, snow mold, trees, so many I forget the rest. Between both of them combined they probably have at least 10. When I was born I didn't inherit any. When my brother was born - he ended up with all of them. Gahahaha. :D

:high five again genetics!:

Ah, but anyway, after about 20 seconds of silence, I piped up and said:

"What?"

She said:

"This says you're not free from drug dependency...?"

"Are you a cocaine user or something?"

So, I replied:

"Uhh. I can't say that I am."

And she still looked like she didn't believe me.

I guess it didn't help below that I again wrote no to "Have you received treatment for your substance addiction problems in the past?"

She just looked at me further. I WAS THINKING COME ON I DON'T LOOK LIKE THAT MUCH OF A HARROWING DRUG ADDICT DO I?!

I also apparently checked under "WOMEN ONLY", "no" if I had ever been on birth control or not, but I left whether or not I was pregnant and the expected delivery date blank - which netted me some more socially odd looking glares.

I WAS THINKING COME ON I DON'T LOOK LIKE THAT MUCH OF A TRANSSEXUAL APPARENTLY ADDICTED TO DRUGS DO I?!

I wrote no to "Have you been seeing a dentist regularly?", despite my last cleaning being not even two months ago, and I left "Are you missing any teeth?" (blank, but that should have been an honest no!)

Yet sadly I marked below it (If so, have they been replaced?) with no.

I had to rewrite it.

Pay attention to filling out these things if you're handed one in the nearby future.

And remember how I wrote in that introduction the weather here is like:

Spring - rain. (+tornado & tornado warnings).
Summer - rain. (+tornado & tornado warnings).
Fall - snow. (+tornado & tornado warnings).
Winter - snow. (+tornado & tornado warnings).

Well, I'd like to hereby retract that statement and change it simply to:

Spring - snow. (+tornado & tornado warnings).
Summer - snow. (+tornado & tornado warnings).
Fall - snow. (+tornado & tornado warnings).
Winter - snow. (+tornado & tornado warnings).

In the last 24-48 hours we've probably received more than we had all winter.

(Keep in mind we literally didn't have any early Saturday.)














(I believe those are tornadoes also forming in the background, not clouds.)

Coooooool. Edmonton really is proof of what it means to be Canadian.

That or global warming actually does exist and we're all fucked.

This is why I want to destroy every single film producer who has ever made snow in cinematic form look like some magical, beautiful thing.