Random thought:
I will be a Darwin award someday.
-
.. yup. Let me try and set the stage for you guys & gals that don't know her.
She IS that person who probably keeps finding my page by searching whether or not if there is Scald Med class action suit because they decided to order this remedy for receding hairlines off the TV for $4.09 expecting it to work; and now their scalp is on fire and their vision has become poor. She buys all kinds of worthless crap both "As seen on TV" and just in general. Her most recent purchase being maybe this thing she has in her car that takes up about 85% of the back window. Apparently, it acts as an air conditioner (even though her car is a 2007 Mazda something and has a perfectly fine air conditioning feature). I'll admit, it actually works, but God. If you were somehow able to stack fifty pork refineries on top of each other and setup a giant megaphone in front of all the heavy noise all of them are making as you could hear countless pigs dying in the most inhumane and cruel ways possible; using it to amplify the noise of both machine and death over ten thousand times to eardrum shattering proportions you still wouldn't have noise that's louder or more unpleasant than what currently sits in and consumes 85% of her back window. I think the mass death would even smell better too.
I love my Mom, I really do but she's notorious for buying the cheapest things in existence just to save a quick buck. Most of the time she buys shit she doesn't even need such as the ever so mentioned-but-never-forgotten POPCORN forks. I don't know who these were invented for where people would actually consider eating one piece at a time until the whole bag is done. Maybe the insanely rich that use $40000 Chanel suits as napkins? Someone with a severely damaged digestive system?! NO CLUE. I think we used them a whole zero times though before they were tossed into the trash.
However, however.. my mom isn't so bad when it comes to buying me things for my birthday. Probably because she steals my birthday tactic in asking the birthday boy/girl just exactly what they want me to buy so I can't screw it up by "surprising" them with my generosity and kindness. The few times she hasn't though she picked me up stuff I actually wanted or needed with her usual trademark junk thrown in there. Such as about a year ago, she bought me a new computer desk (I asked for) some Nike apparel etc, but threw in body wash (yes, go ahead! make jokes. I deserve them by now) and a few other girlish items the possible girl inside of me was screaming for her to secretly buy me.
She bought me these apparent bubble bath beads as well:
"Uhh..", "Thanks?" I remarked when she handed them over. I asked if she just wanted to keep them for herself as, as much as I'd probably like them I just don't take a whole lot of baths as it is. She told me no and to use them, even if it is a year from now. I kept them and just threw them on top of my fridge. I almost always take showers.
Well.. skip ahead to yesterday and I did decide to have a bath when I came home!
I started doing weights again, hopefully this time with a lot of consistency. I worked on my midsection all last winter and it shows beautifully but I never really stuck with any weight routines. I either was excellent at it doing it every day/second day or.. like once every few weeks. Well this year is the year no matter what, I'm pushing myself! 200~ reps daily of 195 lbs (88 kgs) to start with. I've done them each night (throughout the day) for the last six days now. Needless to say when I came home from hockey earlier today I was pretty sore. A long hot relaxingbubble bath sounded rather nice.
I remembered the beads she bought me downstairs and I went upstairs and started running the water, threw two in there and went off to get some fresh clothes to change in after. I came back and they were still in the water, didn't start to melt or anything.
And don't worry -
I'm not one of those creepy guys who takes pictures around semi-reflective surfaces!
".. huh?" I thought.
When I took them out of the jar they smelled like perfume, like, soap. So I picked them back up out of the water. Apparently.. they're rocks. SCENTED FUCKING ROCKS.
Part of me thinks you bought these by accident, part of me thinks due to your popcorn fork buying ways you knew exactly what you were buying at the time. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF BRIGHT GREEN SCENTED ROCKS?!?! Oh, Mom. Forshameeeeeee. Forshameeeeeeeeeeee.
I will be a Darwin award someday.
-
.. yup. Let me try and set the stage for you guys & gals that don't know her.
She IS that person who probably keeps finding my page by searching whether or not if there is Scald Med class action suit because they decided to order this remedy for receding hairlines off the TV for $4.09 expecting it to work; and now their scalp is on fire and their vision has become poor. She buys all kinds of worthless crap both "As seen on TV" and just in general. Her most recent purchase being maybe this thing she has in her car that takes up about 85% of the back window. Apparently, it acts as an air conditioner (even though her car is a 2007 Mazda something and has a perfectly fine air conditioning feature). I'll admit, it actually works, but God. If you were somehow able to stack fifty pork refineries on top of each other and setup a giant megaphone in front of all the heavy noise all of them are making as you could hear countless pigs dying in the most inhumane and cruel ways possible; using it to amplify the noise of both machine and death over ten thousand times to eardrum shattering proportions you still wouldn't have noise that's louder or more unpleasant than what currently sits in and consumes 85% of her back window. I think the mass death would even smell better too.
I love my Mom, I really do but she's notorious for buying the cheapest things in existence just to save a quick buck. Most of the time she buys shit she doesn't even need such as the ever so mentioned-but-never-forgotten POPCORN forks. I don't know who these were invented for where people would actually consider eating one piece at a time until the whole bag is done. Maybe the insanely rich that use $40000 Chanel suits as napkins? Someone with a severely damaged digestive system?! NO CLUE. I think we used them a whole zero times though before they were tossed into the trash.
However, however.. my mom isn't so bad when it comes to buying me things for my birthday. Probably because she steals my birthday tactic in asking the birthday boy/girl just exactly what they want me to buy so I can't screw it up by "surprising" them with my generosity and kindness. The few times she hasn't though she picked me up stuff I actually wanted or needed with her usual trademark junk thrown in there. Such as about a year ago, she bought me a new computer desk (I asked for) some Nike apparel etc, but threw in body wash (yes, go ahead! make jokes. I deserve them by now) and a few other girlish items the possible girl inside of me was screaming for her to secretly buy me.
She bought me these apparent bubble bath beads as well:
"Uhh..", "Thanks?" I remarked when she handed them over. I asked if she just wanted to keep them for herself as, as much as I'd probably like them I just don't take a whole lot of baths as it is. She told me no and to use them, even if it is a year from now. I kept them and just threw them on top of my fridge. I almost always take showers.
Well.. skip ahead to yesterday and I did decide to have a bath when I came home!
I started doing weights again, hopefully this time with a lot of consistency. I worked on my midsection all last winter and it shows beautifully but I never really stuck with any weight routines. I either was excellent at it doing it every day/second day or.. like once every few weeks. Well this year is the year no matter what, I'm pushing myself! 200~ reps daily of 195 lbs (88 kgs) to start with. I've done them each night (throughout the day) for the last six days now. Needless to say when I came home from hockey earlier today I was pretty sore. A long hot relaxing
I remembered the beads she bought me downstairs and I went upstairs and started running the water, threw two in there and went off to get some fresh clothes to change in after. I came back and they were still in the water, didn't start to melt or anything.
And don't worry -
I'm not one of those creepy guys who takes pictures around semi-reflective surfaces!
".. huh?" I thought.
When I took them out of the jar they smelled like perfume, like, soap. So I picked them back up out of the water. Apparently.. they're rocks. SCENTED FUCKING ROCKS.
Part of me thinks you bought these by accident, part of me thinks due to your popcorn fork buying ways you knew exactly what you were buying at the time. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF BRIGHT GREEN SCENTED ROCKS?!?! Oh, Mom. Forshameeeeeee. Forshameeeeeeeeeeee.
Comments
Maybe you left the bath beads out for too long and they've dried up becoming hard to dissolve?
but b) i remember ages ago when i was like.. six, my mom had all these animal bath beads she probably bought for herself. dinosaurs, buffalo, lobsters etc. she had them in a jar also but we never really used many. when she moved to her new house maybe 7~8 years after that i put a dinosaur and a lobster in a bath i had one morning, then, and they melted just fine. ;D
You're lucky you didn't pour the whole jar in your tub.
but they are for sure rocks! I tried smashing one with a hammer earlier and no go.
that weird... plain favor, like scentless. i can be pretty gay sometimes but i'm at least manly enough not to use anything that has weird girly scents like cucumber kiwi yogurt sprinkle you all like.