Random thought:
I think if I had a theme song, it would be that.. "Anything you can do, I can do better! I can do anything better than you!" one. It suits me absolutely perfectly.
-
Okay, so I know if you're attentive you'll have noticed by now usually the title of my entries coincide directly with the first sentence or paragraph that follows the random thought. Kind of like a smooth transition into whatever subject I felt like writing about at the time. This one won't be like that, yet. I just thought I'd point that out.
I don't know why.
Morals are a peculiar thing, sometimes. (NO, this isn't where the title fits in yet. I'm not selling stolen babies on eBay). I was raised if you haven't guessed by my last two recent letters to Jesus in a very Christian home by two at the time very dedicated to Christianity parents. I have, even if I don't display them openly often.. usually a pretty solid set of morals that were instilled in me back during my youth. I've always returned money or valuables I've found on the floor, lost cellphones, .mp3 players and so forth I've randomly found at work or on campus to their owners. I'm very polite to people who are polite to me.. and in some cases treat the elderly with the utmost respect!
(.. & probably the only time you'll ever hear a sir creep out of me.)
In fact, for the most part I am a very lax, passive and the least judgmental person in the world you could ever meet. Generally I have those hippy rainbow 70's beliefs that your life is your life and as long as you're happy living it, it doesn't matter (WITHIN REASON) what you do in your spare time. Not to say I'd hug killer bank robbers and nominate them for the Person of the Year awards dished out by Time Magazine or anything but, I wouldn't run around with flags and posters and protest what they do in their spare time as being "wrong". I suppose in part that's a very weak side of me.. I wish I had more activist beliefs sometimes. I can't and don't really hate people for reasons I should, even though I have a few skeletons hidden deep in my closet myself.
I think there's only two real things someone could do that could make me change my otherwise eternal neutral (or positive) opinion about them or flat out make me hate them. One is disparaging war veterans in any way, shape or form, even in playful jest. I can't understand for the life of me how people can ever make fun of in most cases, all our grandfathers who fought for the freedom we have today to express ourselves like I'm doing right now as you read this. If it wasn't for them uniting there's a very strong chance we'd still all be enslaved in Nazi death camps right now. My grandfather fought in both World War I and World War II - he was one of the lucky ones who escaped with after the first war, minimal injuries and after the second, just mild knee pain. He wasn't one of those strict army personnel who'd smack the new generation upside their head for disrespecting or not exactly knowing the depth of what they fought for.. but he would have probably slapped me up if I ever forgot to wear a poppy on remembrance day. I still miss him. I read a story a while ago about how on Veterans Day in America a group of a few people broke into a memorial ground there and pissed all over a few graves. I don't know how anyone could have.. well, no heart like that. I can honestly say that was one of the first times ever reading the news I felt genuinely sad and disgusted with how little respect some people have in this world for other living, breathing people.
The second are the homeless. You know, the real homeless, just regular Joe Average down on his luck and not Joe Average who lost his house, family and life savings through uncontrollable gambling, drug and alcohol addictions. I frequently read stories in our local newspaper where drunken college students drive around and throw paint on them, assault them or flat out beat them up in groups or with "weapons" like sticks for seemingly unprovoked reasons or fun. I hate how material the world has become sometimes. Social status (or monetary earnings) shouldn't ever be equal to respect. Some of the most interesting people I've ever met were homeless people volunteering for Santa's Anonymous or I'd sometimes see at work. [who weren't cokeheads..] It scares me to think that there's people who exist in our world who see no harm in beating a homeless man with a 2x4 "for fun" just because he's homeless. I want to hurt people like that since our court systems are so awful in Canada. I read again about one story a while ago where two people threw buckets of white paint all over this homeless man (and his only pair of clothes) and then beat him up, for no reason at all. Canada needs capital punishment when it comes to dealing with people who commit such senseless crimes. Mainly for the sheer reason their punishment for doing something so heinous was "24 hours of community service" and they both had to write a letter of apology to the victim.
As far as I know they weren't even charged with assault!
Okay. So all that aside, why is this titled "I sell babies on eBay, bitch"?
Well, I don't understand how at times I have inherited some pretty amazing morals, but at other times have some pretty shitty ones. One thing that annoys me on YouTube is all those new mothers who share four second clips of "This is my baby walking!!!", "This is my baby laughing!!!!!!", "This is my baby eating!!!!". Yes, you're proud new parents I understand, but that doesn't need to be displayed through 3094 shitty four second videos. I randomly stumbled upon this guys however, mashed in with all baby's first steps:
Admittedly, it isn't too terrible.. but that's where my lack of morals flies in at full throttle and power. After listening to it, my first reaction was to steal the video and claim it as my "own", much like I did here.. edit it slightly cutting out the friendly intro that justifies the next few minutes talking about baby kidnapping, and rape .. and, end it abruptly before they justify the comment "If you got an abortion, I'd eat it!"
And from there.. make a new false YouTube account and continue to post this as a video response to all the new mothers 4 second, baby's new step videos. Even if Eminem jr & Vanilla Ice in 20 years aren't the most proficient rappers I can't begin to imagine the reactions this chopped up version would get. Here's a transcript of the entire thing in case you couldn't make it through (their also admittedly, pretty entertaining) rap:
[white shirt]
Oh, it's back on me
But I don't like being on that screen
That's not me
I don't mean to mean
But if you will ever see, If you make a scene
I'm in the park, it will be dark
But I will not.. bark
Like a dog wearing a collar
I'm kinda crazy, I will snatch your daughter
Right out of her crib, where did she go?
I'm selling it on eBay, I'm getting dough.
Oh yeah, that's the way the story goes.
And if you weren't listening I'll say it once more.
... I sell babies on eBay bitch.
[bald guy]
Babbbbbbies on eBay!
Yo, check it out!
We got babies on eBay
We got babies on eBay, we sell them by the dozen
Listen up! If you like that, we'll sell your cousin
We don't care, we don't care
If you get your babies, please please share
Call the number on the screen
Get your babies
We will sell them for just gravy
We don't care, we don't care
We'll sell your babies underwear
[white shirt]
If you need to buy a baby
What do you need him?
Need him to be Asian?
Maybe black? Maybe Indian?
Maybe you could need twins?
I got them,
Anything you want I got
A baby that smokes pot? A lot?
Ohh yeah. Ohhh yeah.
[bald guy]
Yo I got,
I got tons of babies too.
Yo, I got babies drink milk, got babies drink juice
Doesn't matter, got babies that got their first tooth
Got babies everywhere, got babies galore
You may got a lot of babies but I got much more
I got babies everywhere, got babies to dispense
Got babies oh yeah, and they do take shits
Better watch their diapers, get them diapers
Yeah they're hyper, yeah they're hyper
Babies everywhere, there's babies on the floor
There's babies, babies, babies, yeah there's more
They're crawling on the ceiling, they're crawling on the wall
There's babies, babies, babies and they like their dolls
[Babies, babies...]
[white shirt]
Aah. I got nothing... but a bunch of babies!
If you need a baby, I got one
Which one do you need? One that will be fun?
One that cries all day? One that sleeps through the night?
One that's scared of flying kites?
You don't want that you want a baby
That grow up to be a man
To save the babies(?)
You want them to grow up to be like me? Don't ya?
I don't think you do...
[bald guy]
Babies babies, babies babies babies babies
Babies babies babies babies babies babies babies
Selling these babies are fun you can-
Get a lot of money when you go to Iran
Babies for a half dozen, for a dime
Get them, yeah, that's a steal a slide(?)
Right to your country and i'll take your baby
Babies everywhere, babies everywhere!
[white shirt]
Babies,
I got babies, even in a can
Babies you can name Billy, Mike or Sam
Anything you want to do with them I don't care
Once they're out of my hair, they can go anywhere
Baby for you, Penolope, or Tom Cruise
Anyway, anyone, any baby you want
I'll steal it for you 'cause that's who I am
I steal babies, from celebrities
And I give them to people that don't have any
And they come back to get more
Of course, and I go to Mandy Moore
I make her pregnant at first she thinks she was raped
But oh yeah, that was great, on my first date
It wasn't even a date, I found her in an alley
She was all beat up and bruised because I had her yesterday
She was there...
No, I got her pregnated, she was really raped
But I really don't think that it was rape
Because I put a baby inside of her, I knew her morals and values she wouldn't get an abortion..
[bald guy]
If you get an abortion I'll eat it..
I don't think I ever would, but tell me if I renamed that video something like "Song about your new born!" and started pasting it as a video response to all the new parents baby videos, it wouldn't harvest the greatest internet reactions ever?!
Morals are a peculiar thing, sometimes.
I think if I had a theme song, it would be that.. "Anything you can do, I can do better! I can do anything better than you!" one. It suits me absolutely perfectly.
-
Okay, so I know if you're attentive you'll have noticed by now usually the title of my entries coincide directly with the first sentence or paragraph that follows the random thought. Kind of like a smooth transition into whatever subject I felt like writing about at the time. This one won't be like that, yet. I just thought I'd point that out.
I don't know why.
Morals are a peculiar thing, sometimes. (NO, this isn't where the title fits in yet. I'm not selling stolen babies on eBay). I was raised if you haven't guessed by my last two recent letters to Jesus in a very Christian home by two at the time very dedicated to Christianity parents. I have, even if I don't display them openly often.. usually a pretty solid set of morals that were instilled in me back during my youth. I've always returned money or valuables I've found on the floor, lost cellphones, .mp3 players and so forth I've randomly found at work or on campus to their owners. I'm very polite to people who are polite to me.. and in some cases treat the elderly with the utmost respect!
(.. & probably the only time you'll ever hear a sir creep out of me.)
In fact, for the most part I am a very lax, passive and the least judgmental person in the world you could ever meet. Generally I have those hippy rainbow 70's beliefs that your life is your life and as long as you're happy living it, it doesn't matter (WITHIN REASON) what you do in your spare time. Not to say I'd hug killer bank robbers and nominate them for the Person of the Year awards dished out by Time Magazine or anything but, I wouldn't run around with flags and posters and protest what they do in their spare time as being "wrong". I suppose in part that's a very weak side of me.. I wish I had more activist beliefs sometimes. I can't and don't really hate people for reasons I should, even though I have a few skeletons hidden deep in my closet myself.
I think there's only two real things someone could do that could make me change my otherwise eternal neutral (or positive) opinion about them or flat out make me hate them. One is disparaging war veterans in any way, shape or form, even in playful jest. I can't understand for the life of me how people can ever make fun of in most cases, all our grandfathers who fought for the freedom we have today to express ourselves like I'm doing right now as you read this. If it wasn't for them uniting there's a very strong chance we'd still all be enslaved in Nazi death camps right now. My grandfather fought in both World War I and World War II - he was one of the lucky ones who escaped with after the first war, minimal injuries and after the second, just mild knee pain. He wasn't one of those strict army personnel who'd smack the new generation upside their head for disrespecting or not exactly knowing the depth of what they fought for.. but he would have probably slapped me up if I ever forgot to wear a poppy on remembrance day. I still miss him. I read a story a while ago about how on Veterans Day in America a group of a few people broke into a memorial ground there and pissed all over a few graves. I don't know how anyone could have.. well, no heart like that. I can honestly say that was one of the first times ever reading the news I felt genuinely sad and disgusted with how little respect some people have in this world for other living, breathing people.
The second are the homeless. You know, the real homeless, just regular Joe Average down on his luck and not Joe Average who lost his house, family and life savings through uncontrollable gambling, drug and alcohol addictions. I frequently read stories in our local newspaper where drunken college students drive around and throw paint on them, assault them or flat out beat them up in groups or with "weapons" like sticks for seemingly unprovoked reasons or fun. I hate how material the world has become sometimes. Social status (or monetary earnings) shouldn't ever be equal to respect. Some of the most interesting people I've ever met were homeless people volunteering for Santa's Anonymous or I'd sometimes see at work. [who weren't cokeheads..] It scares me to think that there's people who exist in our world who see no harm in beating a homeless man with a 2x4 "for fun" just because he's homeless. I want to hurt people like that since our court systems are so awful in Canada. I read again about one story a while ago where two people threw buckets of white paint all over this homeless man (and his only pair of clothes) and then beat him up, for no reason at all. Canada needs capital punishment when it comes to dealing with people who commit such senseless crimes. Mainly for the sheer reason their punishment for doing something so heinous was "24 hours of community service" and they both had to write a letter of apology to the victim.
As far as I know they weren't even charged with assault!
Okay. So all that aside, why is this titled "I sell babies on eBay, bitch"?
Well, I don't understand how at times I have inherited some pretty amazing morals, but at other times have some pretty shitty ones. One thing that annoys me on YouTube is all those new mothers who share four second clips of "This is my baby walking!!!", "This is my baby laughing!!!!!!", "This is my baby eating!!!!". Yes, you're proud new parents I understand, but that doesn't need to be displayed through 3094 shitty four second videos. I randomly stumbled upon this guys however, mashed in with all baby's first steps:
Admittedly, it isn't too terrible.. but that's where my lack of morals flies in at full throttle and power. After listening to it, my first reaction was to steal the video and claim it as my "own", much like I did here.. edit it slightly cutting out the friendly intro that justifies the next few minutes talking about baby kidnapping, and rape .. and, end it abruptly before they justify the comment "If you got an abortion, I'd eat it!"
And from there.. make a new false YouTube account and continue to post this as a video response to all the new mothers 4 second, baby's new step videos. Even if Eminem jr & Vanilla Ice in 20 years aren't the most proficient rappers I can't begin to imagine the reactions this chopped up version would get. Here's a transcript of the entire thing in case you couldn't make it through (their also admittedly, pretty entertaining) rap:
[white shirt]
Oh, it's back on me
But I don't like being on that screen
That's not me
I don't mean to mean
But if you will ever see, If you make a scene
I'm in the park, it will be dark
But I will not.. bark
Like a dog wearing a collar
I'm kinda crazy, I will snatch your daughter
Right out of her crib, where did she go?
I'm selling it on eBay, I'm getting dough.
Oh yeah, that's the way the story goes.
And if you weren't listening I'll say it once more.
... I sell babies on eBay bitch.
[bald guy]
Babbbbbbies on eBay!
Yo, check it out!
We got babies on eBay
We got babies on eBay, we sell them by the dozen
Listen up! If you like that, we'll sell your cousin
We don't care, we don't care
If you get your babies, please please share
Call the number on the screen
Get your babies
We will sell them for just gravy
We don't care, we don't care
We'll sell your babies underwear
[white shirt]
If you need to buy a baby
What do you need him?
Need him to be Asian?
Maybe black? Maybe Indian?
Maybe you could need twins?
I got them,
Anything you want I got
A baby that smokes pot? A lot?
Ohh yeah. Ohhh yeah.
[bald guy]
Yo I got,
I got tons of babies too.
Yo, I got babies drink milk, got babies drink juice
Doesn't matter, got babies that got their first tooth
Got babies everywhere, got babies galore
You may got a lot of babies but I got much more
I got babies everywhere, got babies to dispense
Got babies oh yeah, and they do take shits
Better watch their diapers, get them diapers
Yeah they're hyper, yeah they're hyper
Babies everywhere, there's babies on the floor
There's babies, babies, babies, yeah there's more
They're crawling on the ceiling, they're crawling on the wall
There's babies, babies, babies and they like their dolls
[Babies, babies...]
[white shirt]
Aah. I got nothing... but a bunch of babies!
If you need a baby, I got one
Which one do you need? One that will be fun?
One that cries all day? One that sleeps through the night?
One that's scared of flying kites?
You don't want that you want a baby
That grow up to be a man
To save the babies(?)
You want them to grow up to be like me? Don't ya?
I don't think you do...
[bald guy]
Babies babies, babies babies babies babies
Babies babies babies babies babies babies babies
Selling these babies are fun you can-
Get a lot of money when you go to Iran
Babies for a half dozen, for a dime
Get them, yeah, that's a steal a slide(?)
Right to your country and i'll take your baby
Babies everywhere, babies everywhere!
[white shirt]
Babies,
I got babies, even in a can
Babies you can name Billy, Mike or Sam
Anything you want to do with them I don't care
Once they're out of my hair, they can go anywhere
Baby for you, Penolope, or Tom Cruise
Anyway, anyone, any baby you want
I'll steal it for you 'cause that's who I am
I steal babies, from celebrities
And I give them to people that don't have any
And they come back to get more
Of course, and I go to Mandy Moore
I make her pregnant at first she thinks she was raped
But oh yeah, that was great, on my first date
It wasn't even a date, I found her in an alley
She was all beat up and bruised because I had her yesterday
She was there...
No, I got her pregnated, she was really raped
But I really don't think that it was rape
Because I put a baby inside of her, I knew her morals and values she wouldn't get an abortion..
[bald guy]
If you get an abortion I'll eat it..
I don't think I ever would, but tell me if I renamed that video something like "Song about your new born!" and started pasting it as a video response to all the new parents baby videos, it wouldn't harvest the greatest internet reactions ever?!
Morals are a peculiar thing, sometimes.
Comments