Random thought:
Thank you miss Australia! (Edwina)
.. and to a lesser extent, Mr. Sweden (Danne).
-
I keep seeing these eHarmony commercials everytime I turn on the TV. I feel pretty bad for everyone who falls in love with someone else online (.. no brotherly low blows or subliminal messages intended!). I just don't understand how people who register for this site after seeing it on a medium like television can't understand all the executives who own it are trying to do is profiteer from the lonesomeness and misery of others. One of their sale pitches though is ".. review your matches for free!" which I assume means no matter what I put in there, before having to pay $59.95 for a membership I'll be able to review everyone that's my apparent soulmate. What's a fake sounding name?
I'll give this quiz a whirl.
I think I'll be.. Kwami Omar Hosap Jr.
I am male and was born on Christmas Day, 1952.
I have been divorced nine times and my matches age should be 18 or younger.
I have five children who are 18 and over who are living full time at home.
I haven't decided yet - but I might be willing to have another child.. but I won't accept you if you have your own child. My education is junior high or lower.
My current income is $20000 or less. I currently work selling frozen semen.
I am 4'11 and Korean. (Sorry Korea!)
I would be willing to date white, hispanic, african american, japanese/chinese/korean, indian, arab or other. NO ITALIANS.
On a rating of one to 7, (7 being the highest and 1 being not at all) I am;
1 - Well Groomed
1 - Handsome
1 - Athletic
7 - Overweight
1 - Fit
1 - Sexy
On the same scale I am:
1 - (not at all satisfied with my physical appearance)
2 - (not very important of how physically attractive my partner is)
I am a devout Christian. I am interested in meeting someone non-Christian.
I never do things according to plan and I never take the time to listen to others. I often feel unable to do basic tasks. I do not like to help others at all. My room is often a disgusting mess. I'm unable to talk on an intellectual level (and intellectual conversations aren't important to me). I GET STRESSED OUT VERY EASILY. I never make attempts to make others feel good. I am poor at analyzing and solving my own problems. I never stand up for myself and I let everyone walk all over me. I'm very easily discouraged. I can't handle learning or taking in a lot of new information. I waste my time a lot. I have a very hard time learning new things. I don't like order and regularity. I never do nice things for friends and I get angry very, very easily.
I'm not a warm person people easily open up to and I've never been described as clever once in my life. I love very dominant women but I'm not an outgoing person, so physically abuse me in secret. I'm never agreeable and OUTSTANDINGLY introverted since remember - I don't care about others. I'm very aloof and so immature I laughed at the word aloof for sounding funny. I enjoy verbally fighting with my signifigant other and am very cold emotionally. I'm not at all energetic and apparently not spiritual despite being a reborn self proclaimed Christian above. I am very frugal, I will count every penny I spend on you and I'm extremely predictable -- our first date will be the same as our three hundredth. I'm not the least bit affectionate or compassionate.
I don't think I'm attractive and incase my five kids didn't signal above I have a severe loyalty issue. I'm not content with life and I don't understand the word "witty". I'm about as sensitive as the murderer committing the murderer. I have never donated to charity once in my life nor do I consider myself generous. I am amazingly immoral - but not talkative. If you piss me off I won't talk to you about how I feel and will probably use it as an excuse to go out and have my sixth child. I am very sensual; I love everything you can do to me in the bedroom especially if it transfers out to public places such as childrens parks. I'm not liberal, I'm a republican who supports gun rights and abortion. I believe we should have the right to shoot all intruders in every form. I've never been optimistic about the future and am very passionate about my money - but not humans.
[On a real side note holy god this survey stretches on forever - maybe they weren't lying about the accuracy of their results]
I'm a pathological liar and I suppress all my feelings about emotionally traumatic experiences that have critically affected my life. I'm bossy and I don't care what you think. I've never been a leader - always been a follower and am irritated by the slightest drop of the pin. I rarely remain calm in situations that call for patience, I'm known to explode over trivial things. I'm very outspoken and very aggressive [once again: refer to 5 kids]. I'm also very irrational and yet very opinionated. I will scream and shout at you even though I don't always know what I'm talking about. I'm so shy, point out a slight imperfection and I'll assume the fetal position and cry for twenty two straight years so please don't ever ask me to stand up and fight for you. A pack of condoms and a bottle of champaign is more romantic than I'll ever be. I can't be trusted with anything.
.. except your money.
I never openly talk to anyone I meet - though I'll never immediately shun the possibly of having an affair with you. I will never enjoy mingling with your friends at social situations - I know it's a premature assumption but I will hate them all. I'm not able to creatively express myself through music, art or even words. My religious beliefs aren't important to me as long as you have a nice rack. I never think outside the box -- I'm very linear, like a very boring movie. I'm very superficial when it comes to attraction in the opposite sex. I NEVER EVER SEE HUMOR IN EVERYDAY LIFE AND HAVE NO CONCEPT OF THE WORD IRONY. If I don't understand something I'll never ask questions to understand it and never improving myself or changing my arrogant ways is something I take pride in. I don't enjoy looking at attractive people of the opposite sex. It's not important to me to "take time to smell the roses" because all I want is sex. I never make anyone laugh because I find most of my humor in violence. I'm not in control of my emotions and if I'm in a situation where I feel uncomfortable or am making others uncomfortable, I continue to make it worse for everyone around me.
I often physically fight people just because I can even though I rarely win. Although friends come to me in difficult times I never listen to them because my problems are always more important than theirs. I get upset very easily and people who control my every action don't irritate me in the slightest way; I love being taken advantage of especially fiscally because my money will be your money. I prefer being around people who are as emotionally unstable as me, until they start talking to me about their problems.. then I don't. I not only love being pampered and bought gifts, I actually expect to be purchased a gift a day. When I get angry I always take it out on someone completely innocent and not involved in the situation at hand. I never try to understand where a person is coming from with their views and if they should so happen to differ from my political or religious affirmations I will ridicule you. I never drop an issue when it becomes an issue and I try to bring it up as much as I possibly can just to evoke hatred.
[Oh my god.]
My partners physical appearance isn't important and I prefer a low set of morals and standards - infact the more jail time you've served the hotter. I prefer my partners energy level to be very low; like a snail. So if you don't have the energy to have sex on a quota of four times a day I can just pick up where you left off. I prefer a lover who isn't dependable at all; the more mistakes you make the easier it becomes for me to cheat on you. I want a partner who always listens to me despite me never listening to her.
If you've ever abused a small domestic animal, I love you. I love cruel people who do cruel things to Gods most innocent animals. The less you care about intimacy the more I care about you - again since it makes it easier for me to cheat on you if I find someone better after we hook up. I love to blame everyone except me when something goes wrong, especially if it's actually my fault. I love to insist it's someone elses fault except mine.. especially when it is. I don't care about an emotional closeness, I just want sex and I prefer spending as little time as possible with my partner as possible (excluding of course time for sex). The less I'm able to tell you about myself in confidence, the better. I don't care about your hobbies and interests and I definitely prefer someone who can always forgive me for the mistakes I'll make. Oh and I will make a lot.
I don't enjoy exercise and haven't done anything physical in years. I never read the various warning labels on the vast amounts of prescription medications I take before actually taking them and I always drive over the posted speed limit. If someone ever gave me too much change by accident I would always keep the difference for myself without telling them. I hate everyone who is marginally different than me. I always lie especially when my lies hurt someone and I often make fun of other people and family behind their backs. I never donate to charity. And I always raise my voice in anger.
I'm very interested in board games and very disinterested in church involvement. I'd rather play monopoly than teach my kids about Jesus. I don't listen to music, I don't like reading and I don't like parties. I enjoy shoplifting more than shopping.
I don't want to make any new friends or resolve any old conflicts. My lowest priority is probably keeping physically fit. Same goes with socializing and meeting new people!
I smoke and drink several times per day. AND FINALLY WE'RE DONE.
eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.
I suppose it didn't help claiming I was a chronic masturbator who enjoyed parole.
Oh well, I still think e-dating is pathetic.
Thank you miss Australia! (Edwina)
.. and to a lesser extent, Mr. Sweden (Danne).
-
I keep seeing these eHarmony commercials everytime I turn on the TV. I feel pretty bad for everyone who falls in love with someone else online (.. no brotherly low blows or subliminal messages intended!). I just don't understand how people who register for this site after seeing it on a medium like television can't understand all the executives who own it are trying to do is profiteer from the lonesomeness and misery of others. One of their sale pitches though is ".. review your matches for free!" which I assume means no matter what I put in there, before having to pay $59.95 for a membership I'll be able to review everyone that's my apparent soulmate. What's a fake sounding name?
I'll give this quiz a whirl.
I think I'll be.. Kwami Omar Hosap Jr.
I am male and was born on Christmas Day, 1952.
I have been divorced nine times and my matches age should be 18 or younger.
I have five children who are 18 and over who are living full time at home.
I haven't decided yet - but I might be willing to have another child.. but I won't accept you if you have your own child. My education is junior high or lower.
My current income is $20000 or less. I currently work selling frozen semen.
I am 4'11 and Korean. (Sorry Korea!)
I would be willing to date white, hispanic, african american, japanese/chinese/korean, indian, arab or other. NO ITALIANS.
On a rating of one to 7, (7 being the highest and 1 being not at all) I am;
1 - Well Groomed
1 - Handsome
1 - Athletic
7 - Overweight
1 - Fit
1 - Sexy
On the same scale I am:
1 - (not at all satisfied with my physical appearance)
2 - (not very important of how physically attractive my partner is)
I am a devout Christian. I am interested in meeting someone non-Christian.
I never do things according to plan and I never take the time to listen to others. I often feel unable to do basic tasks. I do not like to help others at all. My room is often a disgusting mess. I'm unable to talk on an intellectual level (and intellectual conversations aren't important to me). I GET STRESSED OUT VERY EASILY. I never make attempts to make others feel good. I am poor at analyzing and solving my own problems. I never stand up for myself and I let everyone walk all over me. I'm very easily discouraged. I can't handle learning or taking in a lot of new information. I waste my time a lot. I have a very hard time learning new things. I don't like order and regularity. I never do nice things for friends and I get angry very, very easily.
I'm not a warm person people easily open up to and I've never been described as clever once in my life. I love very dominant women but I'm not an outgoing person, so physically abuse me in secret. I'm never agreeable and OUTSTANDINGLY introverted since remember - I don't care about others. I'm very aloof and so immature I laughed at the word aloof for sounding funny. I enjoy verbally fighting with my signifigant other and am very cold emotionally. I'm not at all energetic and apparently not spiritual despite being a reborn self proclaimed Christian above. I am very frugal, I will count every penny I spend on you and I'm extremely predictable -- our first date will be the same as our three hundredth. I'm not the least bit affectionate or compassionate.
I don't think I'm attractive and incase my five kids didn't signal above I have a severe loyalty issue. I'm not content with life and I don't understand the word "witty". I'm about as sensitive as the murderer committing the murderer. I have never donated to charity once in my life nor do I consider myself generous. I am amazingly immoral - but not talkative. If you piss me off I won't talk to you about how I feel and will probably use it as an excuse to go out and have my sixth child. I am very sensual; I love everything you can do to me in the bedroom especially if it transfers out to public places such as childrens parks. I'm not liberal, I'm a republican who supports gun rights and abortion. I believe we should have the right to shoot all intruders in every form. I've never been optimistic about the future and am very passionate about my money - but not humans.
[On a real side note holy god this survey stretches on forever - maybe they weren't lying about the accuracy of their results]
I'm a pathological liar and I suppress all my feelings about emotionally traumatic experiences that have critically affected my life. I'm bossy and I don't care what you think. I've never been a leader - always been a follower and am irritated by the slightest drop of the pin. I rarely remain calm in situations that call for patience, I'm known to explode over trivial things. I'm very outspoken and very aggressive [once again: refer to 5 kids]. I'm also very irrational and yet very opinionated. I will scream and shout at you even though I don't always know what I'm talking about. I'm so shy, point out a slight imperfection and I'll assume the fetal position and cry for twenty two straight years so please don't ever ask me to stand up and fight for you. A pack of condoms and a bottle of champaign is more romantic than I'll ever be. I can't be trusted with anything.
.. except your money.
I never openly talk to anyone I meet - though I'll never immediately shun the possibly of having an affair with you. I will never enjoy mingling with your friends at social situations - I know it's a premature assumption but I will hate them all. I'm not able to creatively express myself through music, art or even words. My religious beliefs aren't important to me as long as you have a nice rack. I never think outside the box -- I'm very linear, like a very boring movie. I'm very superficial when it comes to attraction in the opposite sex. I NEVER EVER SEE HUMOR IN EVERYDAY LIFE AND HAVE NO CONCEPT OF THE WORD IRONY. If I don't understand something I'll never ask questions to understand it and never improving myself or changing my arrogant ways is something I take pride in. I don't enjoy looking at attractive people of the opposite sex. It's not important to me to "take time to smell the roses" because all I want is sex. I never make anyone laugh because I find most of my humor in violence. I'm not in control of my emotions and if I'm in a situation where I feel uncomfortable or am making others uncomfortable, I continue to make it worse for everyone around me.
I often physically fight people just because I can even though I rarely win. Although friends come to me in difficult times I never listen to them because my problems are always more important than theirs. I get upset very easily and people who control my every action don't irritate me in the slightest way; I love being taken advantage of especially fiscally because my money will be your money. I prefer being around people who are as emotionally unstable as me, until they start talking to me about their problems.. then I don't. I not only love being pampered and bought gifts, I actually expect to be purchased a gift a day. When I get angry I always take it out on someone completely innocent and not involved in the situation at hand. I never try to understand where a person is coming from with their views and if they should so happen to differ from my political or religious affirmations I will ridicule you. I never drop an issue when it becomes an issue and I try to bring it up as much as I possibly can just to evoke hatred.
[Oh my god.]
My partners physical appearance isn't important and I prefer a low set of morals and standards - infact the more jail time you've served the hotter. I prefer my partners energy level to be very low; like a snail. So if you don't have the energy to have sex on a quota of four times a day I can just pick up where you left off. I prefer a lover who isn't dependable at all; the more mistakes you make the easier it becomes for me to cheat on you. I want a partner who always listens to me despite me never listening to her.
If you've ever abused a small domestic animal, I love you. I love cruel people who do cruel things to Gods most innocent animals. The less you care about intimacy the more I care about you - again since it makes it easier for me to cheat on you if I find someone better after we hook up. I love to blame everyone except me when something goes wrong, especially if it's actually my fault. I love to insist it's someone elses fault except mine.. especially when it is. I don't care about an emotional closeness, I just want sex and I prefer spending as little time as possible with my partner as possible (excluding of course time for sex). The less I'm able to tell you about myself in confidence, the better. I don't care about your hobbies and interests and I definitely prefer someone who can always forgive me for the mistakes I'll make. Oh and I will make a lot.
I don't enjoy exercise and haven't done anything physical in years. I never read the various warning labels on the vast amounts of prescription medications I take before actually taking them and I always drive over the posted speed limit. If someone ever gave me too much change by accident I would always keep the difference for myself without telling them. I hate everyone who is marginally different than me. I always lie especially when my lies hurt someone and I often make fun of other people and family behind their backs. I never donate to charity. And I always raise my voice in anger.
I'm very interested in board games and very disinterested in church involvement. I'd rather play monopoly than teach my kids about Jesus. I don't listen to music, I don't like reading and I don't like parties. I enjoy shoplifting more than shopping.
I don't want to make any new friends or resolve any old conflicts. My lowest priority is probably keeping physically fit. Same goes with socializing and meeting new people!
I smoke and drink several times per day. AND FINALLY WE'RE DONE.
eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.
We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.
Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.
CRAP. Maybe this site is the real deal.I suppose it didn't help claiming I was a chronic masturbator who enjoyed parole.
Oh well, I still think e-dating is pathetic.
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