Random thought:
Theodore is just as effective as when they pull him in lue of an empty net.
(Random thought part 2):
I'm not 100% sure that's how you spell in lue of. Sorry if it isn't.
-
It's true! I was this callous unemotionally hardened little kid who never ever under any circumstances displayed human emotion when those hallmark-esque moments knocked on the front door of life. I know that sounds like the front page of John Wayne Gacy's biography and here's the kicker: it is. BUT I'M NOT A SERIAL KILLER OK?
I just never cried at all the queues in life such as when you first fall off a bike, and still don't muster or display much emotion even now after I've matured. I can't remember any situations maybe excluding less than a handful of personal occasions where I have. It's just never been in my character to show typical human emotion like that. Or really emotion at all. Though, there have been some exceptions! I figured I'd share with everyone the few things that weren't family related deaths that made me cry as a kid since they really are stupid and ridiculous. A la GUMBY taking the throne.
Anyone remember that wholesome family TV show Gumby?
If not let's rehash your memory by sharing the intro:
Looks so innocent and childish, right?
My god. This probably sent me into tears every time I watched it. I think my dad was a pretty big fan(?) of it. He likes a bunch of stupid shows such as Star Trek and, actually it's pretty much just Star Trek, the rest I admit were pretty cool. I do remember being forced to watch this with him though and I swear. Every single time it would reduce me to tears. It's the most bizarre concept for a show ever. As seen here:
(Even though that one was fan made and had a budget of probably $9 I find it to be a completely accurate representation of every episode of the real Gumby).
If you want to see what a real episode was like, search on YouTube: "Gumby - Gone Clayzy".
Did you see Saw I, II and III? Of course you did, everyone on earth has. The intro music on that episode is exactly the same they used in Saw II. Well, it probably is. I just know it isn't by a long shot the most fitting ambient children's music.
I remember one episode in particular where our green Gumby pal was split in half, and from there where I promptly balled my ironically green eyes out. He wasn't cut in two in some childish acceptable way either (and laughed symbolizing he was okay after). I wasn't shocked either that Gumby, my almost friend, had died! I was just flat out mortified since I'm pretty sure a giant shard of glass dropped and sliced him directly in half as he shouted "Noooooooooo!!!!" from an aerial birds-eye view from above. I'm also pretty confident we saw him split in super slow motion, which was even worse, since his insides were all stringy. I would have no idea where to look to show you this episode, nor would I really want to relive the childhood trauma it brought upon me, so instead I'll just paste the next closest visual aid. One of Kung Lao's fatalities from Mortal Kombat.
(Image courtesy of: http://www.sydlexia.com/fatalinstinct.htm)
Just imagine Liu Kang is that green lovable almost adorable Gumby fellow, and the Chinese and/or African American and/or Mexican dude which is holding a lethal-odd-job-like-hatwhich almost looks like someone has stamped a swastika across his chest is the, uhh... mirror that fell upon the previously mentioned lump of clay everyone except me adored as a child. Anyway, terrible analogy I know, but YES. IT REALLY WAS THAT BAD.
Finishing in a close second place:
Yeah, forget all the aliens, the Cerberus, and the women that look likemen demi-gods who could conjure FUCKING LIGHTNING from their fists and man eating plants - the giant inflatable Stay Puft marshmallow man made me cry when I was watching this movie with one of my friends - if that wasn't embarrassing enough, in front of his entire family also. I have absolutely no idea what brought on the "OH MY GOD THIS IS THE MOST HORRIFIC SCENERY I'VE EVER SEEN!!" in my mind. I'm just thankful it never stemmed into Stay Puft's almost twin - The Pillsbury Doughboy Poppin' Fresh.
I'd hate to be one in general day baking cookies for my future kids (or for that matter, just baking cookies one day in general) to suddenly break down emotionally and curl into a ball near the stove because seeing Poppin' Fresh on the box felt like I had just been stabbed with a thousand knives. Man I sucked as a six year old.
Third:
I was about six years old (surprise!) it was on Christmas Eve. I had been a relatively good boy all year and was a little more inquisitive than usual on wanting to know when Santa would be arriving. I looked out the window and we were having a blizzard. I stayed up a little later than usual that night (near midnight I think!) so my mom was finding any explanation as to why he wasn't at our house yet a bit hard to come by, when suddenly, in perhaps her first display of quick wits ever she exclaimed:
"Out the window, look!" and pointed at this red satellite passing by.
"There's Rudolph now!"
"Woooooow!"
I gasped as my jaw about hit the floor. There had been rumors circulating on the playground earlier that week that Santa was actually your parents, but this, this my friends, was indisputable proof that Santa & Co existed! I stared up at the sky in utter amazement when suddenly the red satellite disappeared. I was like:
"W-ww-w-what just happened Mom?!"
She had no answer, and just shut the window blinds. Oh man. I felt so terrible.
I spent the whole night wondering if Santa had just died.
Theodore is just as effective as when they pull him in lue of an empty net.
(Random thought part 2):
I'm not 100% sure that's how you spell in lue of. Sorry if it isn't.
-
It's true! I was this callous unemotionally hardened little kid who never ever under any circumstances displayed human emotion when those hallmark-esque moments knocked on the front door of life. I know that sounds like the front page of John Wayne Gacy's biography and here's the kicker: it is. BUT I'M NOT A SERIAL KILLER OK?
I just never cried at all the queues in life such as when you first fall off a bike, and still don't muster or display much emotion even now after I've matured. I can't remember any situations maybe excluding less than a handful of personal occasions where I have. It's just never been in my character to show typical human emotion like that. Or really emotion at all. Though, there have been some exceptions! I figured I'd share with everyone the few things that weren't family related deaths that made me cry as a kid since they really are stupid and ridiculous. A la GUMBY taking the throne.
Anyone remember that wholesome family TV show Gumby?
If not let's rehash your memory by sharing the intro:
Looks so innocent and childish, right?
My god. This probably sent me into tears every time I watched it. I think my dad was a pretty big fan(?) of it. He likes a bunch of stupid shows such as Star Trek and, actually it's pretty much just Star Trek, the rest I admit were pretty cool. I do remember being forced to watch this with him though and I swear. Every single time it would reduce me to tears. It's the most bizarre concept for a show ever. As seen here:
(Even though that one was fan made and had a budget of probably $9 I find it to be a completely accurate representation of every episode of the real Gumby).
If you want to see what a real episode was like, search on YouTube: "Gumby - Gone Clayzy".
Did you see Saw I, II and III? Of course you did, everyone on earth has. The intro music on that episode is exactly the same they used in Saw II. Well, it probably is. I just know it isn't by a long shot the most fitting ambient children's music.
I remember one episode in particular where our green Gumby pal was split in half, and from there where I promptly balled my ironically green eyes out. He wasn't cut in two in some childish acceptable way either (and laughed symbolizing he was okay after). I wasn't shocked either that Gumby, my almost friend, had died! I was just flat out mortified since I'm pretty sure a giant shard of glass dropped and sliced him directly in half as he shouted "Noooooooooo!!!!" from an aerial birds-eye view from above. I'm also pretty confident we saw him split in super slow motion, which was even worse, since his insides were all stringy. I would have no idea where to look to show you this episode, nor would I really want to relive the childhood trauma it brought upon me, so instead I'll just paste the next closest visual aid. One of Kung Lao's fatalities from Mortal Kombat.
(Image courtesy of: http://www.sydlexia.com/fatalinstinct.htm)
Just imagine Liu Kang is that green lovable almost adorable Gumby fellow, and the Chinese and/or African American and/or Mexican dude which is holding a lethal-odd-job-like-hat
Finishing in a close second place:
Yeah, forget all the aliens, the Cerberus, and the women that look like
I'd hate to be one in general day baking cookies for my future kids (or for that matter, just baking cookies one day in general) to suddenly break down emotionally and curl into a ball near the stove because seeing Poppin' Fresh on the box felt like I had just been stabbed with a thousand knives. Man I sucked as a six year old.
Third:
I was about six years old (surprise!) it was on Christmas Eve. I had been a relatively good boy all year and was a little more inquisitive than usual on wanting to know when Santa would be arriving. I looked out the window and we were having a blizzard. I stayed up a little later than usual that night (near midnight I think!) so my mom was finding any explanation as to why he wasn't at our house yet a bit hard to come by, when suddenly, in perhaps her first display of quick wits ever she exclaimed:
"Out the window, look!" and pointed at this red satellite passing by.
"There's Rudolph now!"
"Woooooow!"
I gasped as my jaw about hit the floor. There had been rumors circulating on the playground earlier that week that Santa was actually your parents, but this, this my friends, was indisputable proof that Santa & Co existed! I stared up at the sky in utter amazement when suddenly the red satellite disappeared. I was like:
"W-ww-w-what just happened Mom?!"
She had no answer, and just shut the window blinds. Oh man. I felt so terrible.
I spent the whole night wondering if Santa had just died.
Comments
IT MEANS A LOT.