#10 [random] "Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are." *grabs gum & crackers*
Random thought:
PLEASE EVERYONE WHEN YOU HEAR "HEY THERE DELILAH" CHANGE THE RADIO STATION OR TURN IT OFF.
LET'S GET THIS SHIT OFF THE AIRWAVES ALREADY.
-
Well, hip hop I can believe you might enjoy now and again. What about the age old intelligent game of chess? I'm going to go right ahead and assume, no. So, what about hip hop chess? I'm still going to assume - no. I recently SOMEHOW (I swear to God, I maybe look up one random video on YouTube a day and it's always the most bizarre socially awkward crap hosted there no one should ever be aware of) stumbled upon this:
I mean, that has 304 views as I write this! The top video there has 71 million? That's pretty much a 0.000000428% chance that I would run into that movie of all movies today.
It's a short movie highlighting a new event taking place in and around America called the HHCF (Hip Hop Chess Federation). I guess I shouldn't knock on it too much. You can hear right off the start how carefully thought out and painstakingly organized this event was right down to the last minuscule and intricate detail. They tied up all the loose ends.
"This is what we give back, you know what I'm saying?"
"This-this-this-this-this is what we give back."
*Standing all proudly*
"......................................... WHAT IS THAT!?"
He flew these people out thousands of miles to, yessir, you heard right - inspire the children.
I wish I had the phone number of any police department in Detroit right now. I would honestly call up the more-stereotypical-than-even-I'm-being-right-now hard-assed chief of police and casually inquire about just how many times CHESS has been used in the past since its conception to combat or otherwise intervene against STREET CRIME.
From what I've gathered the HHCF is a chess tournament attended by former famous hip hop artists. They mix up the "art" of chess and the suburban influence of street hip hop into one event where if you win - you walk home with a WWF-like championship belt that's so blinged out anyone casually looking at will think:
"Woah, you da krunkest man in tha worldd g!"
"I'm giving you maddd props!"
And at the same time most likely make Hulk Hogan simultaneously orgasm because he wants that belt for his collection so bad. God, my spell checker just went crazy there. I'M DROWNING IN A SEA OF RED.
At least, they'll be in total awe until they notice it has CHESS CHAMPION slapped across it. I wasn't born in those racially intolerant mean streets of Detroit where it was live or die, usually die each night, but I'm pretty sure being the bad-ass king of chess probably won't net you any of that worshiped street cred everyone down there wants so bad.
I can just imagine it going down something like this:
[During a heated dispute]
Guy1: YO BITCH SHUT UP WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU!
Guy2: Why?
Guy1: 'CAUSE WHEN I WAS 19 MOTHERFUCKER I SHOT A MAN.
Guy1: I TOOK THE LIFE OF A MAN IN MY LIFE, MAN.
Guy2: So? I'm the International Chess Championship King.
Guy1: *gunshot*
Guy1: I TOOK THE LIFE OF TWO MEN IN MY LIFE, MAN.
There's a few other videos you can look up there where it shows real-time actual chess footage of the event and the undisputed winners. They're more or less actual chess games with Tupac tracks looped in as background music so I'm still going to retain my skepticism here that these people attending this event are playing chess and phonetically rapping at the same time. I feel almost bad for them, all the people in these chess conference videos are looking half bug-eyed and surprised at the camera like "Oh shit. There's cameras here?!", "You didn't mention we'd be filmed you bastard!"
The funny part about it is how they're all there as if they really support the cause. RZA apparently was seen chessin' it up at the HHCF finals. I love rap and hip hop, I really sincerely do. If there's one genre of music I overplay on my iPod, it's rap hands down. Everything from Tupac to Eminem right down to the old (most likely even founder of!) NWA. RZA is an artist I've listened to a lot over the years and when I read that he attended, oh man.
Here's one of his more recent songs for those unaware of him:
[RZA]
Aiyo, raise 'em up, hold ya cup
Up, let the Alize fill them up
Thug passion, love passion, niggaz, who be actin'
Grey Goose, cranberry juice
Absolut, for those who can't afford the Goose
Malibu, coconut rum, Amaretto sour, coke & rum
We gettin' drunk, Hennessey, V.S.O.P
Age in the barrel, thirty-three years
My girl's been limin' it biz, ya'll niggaz sniff lines in the stairs
German beers, Heiniken, Beck's, Bud for you rednecks (yee-hah!)
Milwaukee's best, for those who only got two dollars and a bag of cess
[Chorus 4X: RZA]
All we wanna do is drink, smoke and fuck (fuck!)
[RZA]
Chronic, blubonic, chocolate Thai stick, you want it
Jamaican green, silver haze, the Northern Lights get ya ass in a daze
Purple hydro, Indonesian skunks, you can tell by the funk
All we need is Fonzo' leaf or a blunt
Easy wad of bamboo, I prefer the Dutch
Split the back open, then the weed get crushed
Big lighter gettin' sparked, we prefer to puff
[Chorus 2X]
[RZA]
Here's to good friends, tonight is kinda special
The beer we brought, must be something wrong, somehow
Muthafuck the low and brow
Or the Rolling Rock, nigga, cuz I'm sippin' Cristal
Dom P., folski, yeah, Juliet, ice cold P
Peter Pipers, nigga, take a sip
Sit back, muthafucka or I'll bust ya lip
[Chorus 4X]
[RZA]
There's Tanya, there's Sandra
Oh shit, there goes my cousin's baby's mamma
Big ass Nicole with no soul
Who would fuck a muthafucka for a jellyroll (jellyroll?)
I see Tasha, Pam and Sasha
Her cousin Tawanna, she's hairy like Chewbacca
Always trynna smoke on that chewbacca
Suck a dick dry for two shots of that Vodka
There's Shasha, BeBe and CeCe
Dede and Deiji, TiTi and FiFi
FayFay and BayBay, KatKat and FayBay
KayKay and Friday, they live for the payday
To drink, smoke and fuck
[Chorus 4X]
Fuck! [8X]
Now, admittedly, even though I follow rap I didn't understand about 95% of that songs lyrics, I can still draw the conclusion that ANY KIDS THAT EVER THOUGHT ABOUT SMOKING DRUGS, COMMITTING RAPE OR MURDER PROBABLY STARTED TO BE INFLUENCED BY SONGS SUNG BY PEOPLE LIKE RZA.
And now all these artists are joining hands together to act like some parental pacifist activists in an effort to stop kids from somehow garnishing the wrong impressions from their self titled songs (and probably autobiographies) "Drink, smoke and fuck".
*golf clap*
Our world is so amazing sometimes!
I've already been oddly stereotypical writing this, may as well go all out here:
This is the best movie ever:
PLEASE EVERYONE WHEN YOU HEAR "HEY THERE DELILAH" CHANGE THE RADIO STATION OR TURN IT OFF.
LET'S GET THIS SHIT OFF THE AIRWAVES ALREADY.
-
Well, hip hop I can believe you might enjoy now and again. What about the age old intelligent game of chess? I'm going to go right ahead and assume, no. So, what about hip hop chess? I'm still going to assume - no. I recently SOMEHOW (I swear to God, I maybe look up one random video on YouTube a day and it's always the most bizarre socially awkward crap hosted there no one should ever be aware of) stumbled upon this:
I mean, that has 304 views as I write this! The top video there has 71 million? That's pretty much a 0.000000428% chance that I would run into that movie of all movies today.
It's a short movie highlighting a new event taking place in and around America called the HHCF (Hip Hop Chess Federation). I guess I shouldn't knock on it too much. You can hear right off the start how carefully thought out and painstakingly organized this event was right down to the last minuscule and intricate detail. They tied up all the loose ends.
"This is what we give back, you know what I'm saying?"
"This-this-this-this-this is what we give back."
*Standing all proudly*
"......................................... WHAT IS THAT!?"
He flew these people out thousands of miles to, yessir, you heard right - inspire the children.
I wish I had the phone number of any police department in Detroit right now. I would honestly call up the more-stereotypical-than-even-I'm-being-right-now hard-assed chief of police and casually inquire about just how many times CHESS has been used in the past since its conception to combat or otherwise intervene against STREET CRIME.
From what I've gathered the HHCF is a chess tournament attended by former famous hip hop artists. They mix up the "art" of chess and the suburban influence of street hip hop into one event where if you win - you walk home with a WWF-like championship belt that's so blinged out anyone casually looking at will think:
"Woah, you da krunkest man in tha worldd g!"
"I'm giving you maddd props!"
And at the same time most likely make Hulk Hogan simultaneously orgasm because he wants that belt for his collection so bad. God, my spell checker just went crazy there. I'M DROWNING IN A SEA OF RED.
At least, they'll be in total awe until they notice it has CHESS CHAMPION slapped across it. I wasn't born in those racially intolerant mean streets of Detroit where it was live or die, usually die each night, but I'm pretty sure being the bad-ass king of chess probably won't net you any of that worshiped street cred everyone down there wants so bad.
I can just imagine it going down something like this:
[During a heated dispute]
Guy1: YO BITCH SHUT UP WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU!
Guy2: Why?
Guy1: 'CAUSE WHEN I WAS 19 MOTHERFUCKER I SHOT A MAN.
Guy1: I TOOK THE LIFE OF A MAN IN MY LIFE, MAN.
Guy2: So? I'm the International Chess Championship King.
Guy1: *gunshot*
Guy1: I TOOK THE LIFE OF TWO MEN IN MY LIFE, MAN.
There's a few other videos you can look up there where it shows real-time actual chess footage of the event and the undisputed winners. They're more or less actual chess games with Tupac tracks looped in as background music so I'm still going to retain my skepticism here that these people attending this event are playing chess and phonetically rapping at the same time. I feel almost bad for them, all the people in these chess conference videos are looking half bug-eyed and surprised at the camera like "Oh shit. There's cameras here?!", "You didn't mention we'd be filmed you bastard!"
The funny part about it is how they're all there as if they really support the cause. RZA apparently was seen chessin' it up at the HHCF finals. I love rap and hip hop, I really sincerely do. If there's one genre of music I overplay on my iPod, it's rap hands down. Everything from Tupac to Eminem right down to the old (most likely even founder of!) NWA. RZA is an artist I've listened to a lot over the years and when I read that he attended, oh man.
Here's one of his more recent songs for those unaware of him:
[RZA]
Aiyo, raise 'em up, hold ya cup
Up, let the Alize fill them up
Thug passion, love passion, niggaz, who be actin'
Grey Goose, cranberry juice
Absolut, for those who can't afford the Goose
Malibu, coconut rum, Amaretto sour, coke & rum
We gettin' drunk, Hennessey, V.S.O.P
Age in the barrel, thirty-three years
My girl's been limin' it biz, ya'll niggaz sniff lines in the stairs
German beers, Heiniken, Beck's, Bud for you rednecks (yee-hah!)
Milwaukee's best, for those who only got two dollars and a bag of cess
[Chorus 4X: RZA]
All we wanna do is drink, smoke and fuck (fuck!)
[RZA]
Chronic, blubonic, chocolate Thai stick, you want it
Jamaican green, silver haze, the Northern Lights get ya ass in a daze
Purple hydro, Indonesian skunks, you can tell by the funk
All we need is Fonzo' leaf or a blunt
Easy wad of bamboo, I prefer the Dutch
Split the back open, then the weed get crushed
Big lighter gettin' sparked, we prefer to puff
[Chorus 2X]
[RZA]
Here's to good friends, tonight is kinda special
The beer we brought, must be something wrong, somehow
Muthafuck the low and brow
Or the Rolling Rock, nigga, cuz I'm sippin' Cristal
Dom P., folski, yeah, Juliet, ice cold P
Peter Pipers, nigga, take a sip
Sit back, muthafucka or I'll bust ya lip
[Chorus 4X]
[RZA]
There's Tanya, there's Sandra
Oh shit, there goes my cousin's baby's mamma
Big ass Nicole with no soul
Who would fuck a muthafucka for a jellyroll (jellyroll?)
I see Tasha, Pam and Sasha
Her cousin Tawanna, she's hairy like Chewbacca
Always trynna smoke on that chewbacca
Suck a dick dry for two shots of that Vodka
There's Shasha, BeBe and CeCe
Dede and Deiji, TiTi and FiFi
FayFay and BayBay, KatKat and FayBay
KayKay and Friday, they live for the payday
To drink, smoke and fuck
[Chorus 4X]
Fuck! [8X]
Now, admittedly, even though I follow rap I didn't understand about 95% of that songs lyrics, I can still draw the conclusion that ANY KIDS THAT EVER THOUGHT ABOUT SMOKING DRUGS, COMMITTING RAPE OR MURDER PROBABLY STARTED TO BE INFLUENCED BY SONGS SUNG BY PEOPLE LIKE RZA.
And now all these artists are joining hands together to act like some parental pacifist activists in an effort to stop kids from somehow garnishing the wrong impressions from their self titled songs (and probably autobiographies) "Drink, smoke and fuck".
*golf clap*
Our world is so amazing sometimes!
I've already been oddly stereotypical writing this, may as well go all out here:
This is the best movie ever:
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